Our Favorite Words - Mad Lib Style!

Now THIS is flippin' cool. THIS is my newest obsession, my new Candy Crush. I am so excited to have discovered this, and I am SUPER stoked to share this with you. If it isn't something that is already taking the world by storm, then it should be. Hey word junkies and language geeks out there: get a kick out of the MOST EPIC NEW THING IN POETRY:

*drumroll please!*

AUTOCORRECT POETRY.

I'm sure you're all familiar with AutoCorrect. Even those who are still carrying around those dinosaur flip phones, or - gasp! - a candy bar phone, you'll know what AutoCorrect does. It turns completely innocent text messages into great fodder for conversation later, inside jokes, and now, amazing works of writing.

What I like about the concept of AutoCorrect poetry is that it has no form, it has no style. It is freewriting in our most modern form. It is mobile poetry. There is no longer any excuse for not having the time to write poetry. If you can text, you can create!

I had been mulling this over in my mind for a while now, and the other day I voiced my ideas to my fair ginger lover. We turned it into a bit of a game, to see who could come up with the better text, based on how hard we laughed at it. We spent the next half hour in a sort of texting date, writing hilarious and completely nonsensical things to each other and giggling like children. We probably looked so stupid, sitting there on our phones, snorting into our sleeves with laughter.

I noticed while doing this that my AutoCorrect sometimes repeated words I had already used, like it was on a loop of words in a bank. Where did these words come from? From the person holding it, of course, which is me - and I realized that these aren't just funny words. These are my favorite words. These are the words I use most often because they are the ones that are most familiar to my tongue. The way they roll off and clamber about the Universe after jumping out of my brain - those are the ones I reach for most often.

What words do you reach for? What words are in your vernacular? How do you expand your vocabulary? I recently discovered this great Facebook app called "Word Porn" (excuse the title) and while I'm not one who really gets into the "sharing" of all those random Page pictures and cutesy sayings and whatnot, I find myself sharing a lot of these updates because these words are just... splendiferous.

In three days, I was introduced to, like, FIVE of my new favorite words. My first new favorite word was a word I wish I had known in fourth grade when we wrote and submitted orally a paper on what we wanted to be when we grew up. If you know me personally, then you know what my aspirations were back then. Innocent as they truly were, they were absolutely scandalous that day in my fourth grade classroom.

Keep reading. Maybe I'll tell you the story.

This is such a great word - a word to describe me perfectly. Not me as a complex, complete being, but the essential Me. The word is "quaintrelle." The definition is I take this one at face value - I realize that it is to mean the female counterpart to a dandy British male, and that is not as I mean it. But read the definition and interpret it for yourselves, and I think you will realize what I'm trying to say.
"A woman who emphasizes a life of passion expressed through personal style, leisurely pastimes, charm and cultivation of life's pleasures."

Another one I really enjoy is "heliopheliac." One who basks in sunshine, and is reluctant to leave it.

Another is scripturient - having a consuming passion to write. Oh, how that one fits me so well.

I love this one, this is probably one of my very favorite new words, "retrouvaille" which means rediscovery, the joy of finding a loved one after a long separation.

And balter. Because that is hilarious. It is pronounced like "falter" and it isn't far off. It means to WAVE YO HANDS IN THE AY-ER LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CAY-ER. It is the stuff of that thankfully lost video of my wedding night after the third? pub of the crawl... one very, very happy bride very much enjoying her new status as Mrs. Fair Ginger Lover. "To dance artlessly without particular grace or skill, but usually with enjoyment." Just hearing the word makes me giggle.

Which brings me to the best part - the part of the evening where you learn how to write your very own AutoCorrect poems! Hope your seams are double stitched.

Also, be warned - I apparently have a sailor's vernacular because my phone allows my AutoCorrect to swear.

Fuck the bus stop!
She is super proud
of my birthday party.
And,
she would love Mondays.

I would absolutely love to do this as spoken word, as slam poetry. I think it would be hilarious. Just me and a spotlight, deadpanning for the audience. I want to make this happen! Here's another good one.

For example,
a little ridiculous,
and the grocery shopping cart system -
it's not connecting with his toes!
I don't want the baby giving them
to the store in the Middle East.

I noticed that a lot of my little poems ended up being about the baby. My little Muse. He is his father's son in so many ways. Love that little bundle of joy from the ends of his wispy blonde hair to the tips of his tiny little toes, but sometimes, I think my AutoCorrect captures my worst 3 AM moments. For example:

Give me a good day sweetie.
Try to get rid of them,
in their fucking frustration,
by throwing out the baby.
(wow, I must have been really, um, tired.)

My phone is very Smart. It keeps up with current events. For the most part. It's a little behind, but I still give it credit for knowing that Carlos is always to be associated with Danger.

Carlos Danger is not connecting
a little more sweetie Love
to the midnight showing.
We need an experienced programmer
who has been CRAZY
about my teeth.

This is one from my husband's AutoCorrect - and I took it personally, it was that sweet.

Thus the baby happy,
and the fantastic four of us
to come home to

and snuggle - with you,
though I love you more

than any Hostess cake.

Aww.

Try it. Let's start a new thing. Send an AutoCorrect Poem (ACP) text or post to someone and see how they react! When you get the inevitable "WTF?" explain the concept, and enjoy the hilarity.

Comment or submit your own AutoCorrect poem, thanks SO VERY MUCH for coming back to read this week, and please share and pin and +1 the crap out of The Saturday Evening Poet! I want my words to reach every furthest corner. I appreciate every like and share and click and skim. I thank you so very, very much and hope you have a great week.

xoxo :)

Oh, fine. Because you were kind enough to read to the end, I'll tell you what happened in fourth grade.

I didn't have such a refined vocabulary back then. (Where were you, Word Porn?) We were given an assignment to write a paper on what we wanted to be when we grew up. I didn't know the word "choreographer." I was also not familiar with the term "interpretive dancer." All I knew is that out there somewhere, according to my Highlights for Children magazine, there were people who got paid to make up funky dances and teach them to people. I wanted to get paid for getting my groove on! I tried to think of the most technical term I could come up with for "funky" because that probably wasn't anywhere near a list of occupations. I chose the most elegant sounding word, "exotic."

Thus, my paper, which was presented via speech to the class, which was in full attendance that day, including the boy I had a crush on who sat in the front row right in front of where I was standing, became a speech on how I wanted to grow up to become an exotic dancer.

You're welcome, and I'm very sorry if you were drinking anything. :)